A LITTLE WIN

Last night this girl had a ‘win.’

This girl - the one trying to grow, the one trying to unlearn some old habits, the one longing to show up for life simply ‘as is,’ completely imperfect and strong. This girl had a win.

Last night it was time to meet ‘the girlfriend.’ 

My 17-year old and her have been friends for quite some time and have been growing into more than just friends as of late. I had seen her before, hanging out on our property with their group of friends, working out in our gym, jumping in and out of our cold plunge as my guy and his crew likes to do. 

But I had never ‘met’ her.

Never sat across from her and been properly introduced. Never, Girlfriend, this is mom. Mom this is girlfriend. Never looked into her eyes and with unspoken words conveyed, Yes, I birthed this one you seek to date. Look at all the potential I have imparted to him. 

Never any of that.

But with a large client event the next day my time was limited. My body was betraying me, the laundry had already defeated me and in no direction inside my home could I look and see a single semblance of order.

This is not a life well-lived, a voice inside of me muttered, this does not make me look good.

And yet I left it. Left it all. Completely ‘as is.’

I could have stopped my event prep, I could have cleaned and tidied and finally threw away those dying flowers. Wipe down here, vacuum here, hide that stack of papers. I could have pushed the pressing needs of tomorrow into the late hours of the night, dragging my tired and waning body along with them.

But I left it. Left it all. Completely ‘as is.’ 

Last night this girl had a win. 

Last night this girl stepped into ‘as is’ with her head high, reminded herself that the visible chaos did not define her and sat down unapologetically and confident across from another human being. 

I like the girlfriend, by the way, my son indeed has good taste. And as I talked with her and took in her smiling face I wondered if she, too, could be free. Could she be empowered to live a life in all her fullness and all her strength, unafraid to cling to her true identity as she steps into and around and through all of life’s mess?

Could superwoman be in the waiting, I wondered, just beneath the surface of this young face?

I hope so.

And to her rise I will give what I can. I will risk, I will stand, I will allow a hand when I fall. I will do my best to show up for life simply as I am - strong, capable, and completely a mess all at the same time. I will remember my true identity and in doing so hope that she, too, will find hers.

The little wins matter, my friends. Superwoman longs to be free, and she, is, watching.