INNER FRIEND

I’d like to introduce you to your inner friend voice.

Yes, insert a picture of my kids rolling their eyes here.

But the truth is, if most of us talked to our friends like we talk to ourselves, we wouldn’t have any. And we wouldn’t blame them. 

But we are not victims of life, not helplessly waiting for the validation of another - our strength runs much deeper than that. We choose to what voices our ear bends, to what statements secure our identity or tear it down. We choose what we will hear, and that’s why we need our inner friend. 

I’ve been working on this for years, sometimes successfully, sometimes setting it aside until miles down the metaphorical wrong path, I finally realize how I have lost my way. 

I forgot her voice.

When my kids were younger and the needs more repetitive, thankless and mundane, I learned to tell my husband that I needed five minutes after dinner. Five minutes to shut the office door, sit in the chair and be by myself. And in that five minutes I’d talk to my inner friend.

Did you see what I did today? I’d ask. Yes, she’d respond, every single bit. 

Are you proud of me? I’d ask. Yes, she’d respond, I know what you give.

Did I do a good job today? My heart would wonder. Yes, she’d smile, more amazing than you think.

And for a moment I’d sit.

Seen.

Heard.

Reminded.

In a perfect world others would give their affirming voices to these moments, but we are all imperfect. All head-down pushing through the difficult moments of life, doing our best to find our own way and sort through the voices spilling into our own lives. 

Sometimes others do not speak, but the inner friend longs to.

If only we will listen.

In our mistakes she will giggle and remind us that life does go on, in our tears she will smile and admit that everything is not okay. In our successes she will celebrate and demand our head held high, in our weakness she will speak that life does not get to define us this way.

She will speak from what is written on our very heart - powerful, precious, free. She will remind from the truth etched upon our very soul - of incredible value and worth. And she will tell us that cleaning up that same mess, completing that same set of paperwork, nodding once again at that same boss all matter, because in everything we get a chance to bring some of who we are.

And we get a chance to choose who we listen to. 

Choose the voices we allow to speak inside our own heads, choose the narrative we tell ourselves of our impact on the world and the role we have in guiding it. Not victims, not passive bystanders, not those tossed around by the winds and seas of life. But powerful, precious, free. Of incredible value and worth. 

Sometimes it is the voices around us that seek to tear down the truth of who we are, but far too often, friendly fire comes within.

So I’d like to introduce you to your inner friend.

I hope you two will get to know each other.