SO LITTLE DONE

This week I accomplished so little.

There are bills still waiting to be paid, emails I have yet to respond to, an appointment I never rescheduled. I did not finalize the report my bookkeeper is waiting for, did not work out details for that family event, did not register my son for his upcoming trip. My laundry, dog and houseplants are all begging for my attention and we’ll not even touch on the cleanliness of my bathrooms.

So much time, so little done.

This week I accomplished so much.

In the early morning hours I stood across the kitchen from my son cherishing every detail that he shared. I heard of his plans, grabbed insights into his heart, and did not miss the wonder of how his smile is slightly crooked just like mine.

On a drive between appointments I picked up the phone and connected with a friend in need. Life has been hard and health is not good, I could feel and hear that she is struggling. I leaned in, I listened, I did not miss the beauty of her willingness to do the same for me.

Standing on the sidelines of a sporting event I stepped into a conversation with a stranger. Bits of her hopes for her child came through. All too soon he’ll be leaving for college, he’s her ‘world traveler’ and will likely enroll far from home, she will miss the 5K runs they do together. I had planned to fill the empty time with unread emails, but I did not miss the gift of another’s willing conversation. 

So little time, so much done.

This week I accomplished so much.

I’d be inclined to argue that we all need to hear that we’re more than the sum of what we accomplish, if I wasn’t convinced that the greater problem may be that we fail to see what we’re actually accomplishing. 

In the stands of a youth basketball game I recently observed a quiet moment between a woman and her son. With her arm wrapped around his back and side, his young body was at peace, effortlessly leaned into hers, his head nestled comfortably beneath her collar bone. She was likely well aware that her to-do list was growing with every still moment, but I could think of nothing more important.

I hope she recognized the accomplishment for what it was. I hope I can recognize my accomplishments, as well. 

There are times when life seems to come so fast and I’ll be the first to admit that I can find myself scrambling for air, suffocating under the weight of a never-ending to-do list. Scratch one thing off and another two arise, the list of things to be done forever multiplying in some sadistic compounding fashion. 

In this space of understanding I am forever failing, forever not enough, forever falling behind. Am I the only one who has ever accomplished something not on the list, only to write it down and immediately cross it off in hopes of a fleeting moment of victory? Everyone needs a ‘win’ sometime.

But when I choose an alternate point of view, my life looks different. With a new lens to the world, my story tells a different tale. I am actually accomplishing quite a lot. 

I am listening. I am loving. I am stopping and hearing and tuning into lives around me. I am giving what I have in every simple moment, leaning into the mundane, looking hopefully for the spectacular. 

And I know so many of you are doing exactly the same.

I hope we can begin rewriting our ‘to-do’ lists, or at least begin realizing that much of what is to be done sits invisibly between every line. I hope we can see ourselves with eyes that look beyond task accomplishment into the heart with which we beautifully embrace the world.

I hope we’ll be kind to the girl in the mirror.

I hope we’ll remind her that she, and everything she is or isn’t getting done, is more than enough.